


Liberosis

by Mouse (clandestineAbattoir)



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Also they have kids at the end, Because john egbert is fucking stubborn, Dave evolving as a person, Dave looks back on his life, Fluff, M/M, Pretty much it, also
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-19 01:25:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4727516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clandestineAbattoir/pseuds/Mouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>liberosis<br/>n. the desire to care less about things—to loosen your grip on your life, to stop glancing behind you every few steps, afraid that someone will snatch it from you before you reach the end zone—rather to hold your life loosely and playfully, like a volleyball, keeping it in the air, with only quick fleeting interventions, bouncing freely in the hands of trusted friends, always in play.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Liberosis

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [23emotions](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/23emotions) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
>  
> 
> Liberosis:  
> (n) The desire to care less about things.

liberosis

n. the desire to care less about things—to loosen your grip on your life, to stop glancing behind you every few steps, afraid that someone will snatch it from you before you reach the end zone—rather to hold your life loosely and playfully, like a volleyball, keeping it in the air, with only quick fleeting interventions, bouncing freely in the hands of trusted friends, always in play.

You could relate to that all too well. You couldn't let go. You wanted to be rid of the tightness in your chest that came whenever you had to walk through the arid Houston streets late at night, the jittery feeling that accompanied you when you ducked into alleyways to escape the people that you knew would do anything to get thier hands on the few dollars you had in the pocket of your jeans.  
You wanted to be free.  
But you knew it wasn't possible.  
Or was it?

John came into your life like a whirlwind, full of energy, never stopping, not for anything. He was the opposite of what you were.  
His dorky smiles and sunshine laughs were a sharp contrast to your calculated steps and stone cold indifference.  
He was what you wished you could be.  
And, eventually, who you started to become.  
It took him a long while, but he was bound and determined to be your friend. You never understood why.  
But eventually, he succeeded in his mission of wriggling his way into your life.  
He would take you places, show you things that he thought would get you to smile.  
Eventually, they did.

The first time a smile broke your mask of empty calm was when he dragged you to the playground when the sun was setting. The familiar tightness in your chest was beggining to make its icy grip on your instincts, but it never quite finished taking its hold.  
John was there like a light, his warmth melting away some of the ice. It wasn't all the way gone, but you didn't feel like you had to run, and it was a new feeling, a feeling that you actually liked.  
So you smiled.  
It wasn't a big smile, just a tiny upward tug at the corner of your lips, but it was enough for John to give a bright grin and start rambling on excitedly that he had finally gotten you to smile.

From then on, the blue eyed wonder made it his personal mission to make you smile as often as he could.  
He would drag you everywhere around the city. He told you about his dad, his childhood in Washington, his love of piano, his dislike of cakes, all of it.  
He eventually got you to talk about your life too. You told him about your part time job as a DJ, the way you had grown up with crappy felt puppets everywhere, your love of apple juice, the strifing.  
You didn't tell him all of it, there were some things that you would never tell him, and there were some things you waited till much later in your life to tell him, but he didn't mind. He trusted you wholeheartedly, and if it took you a while to trust him back, so be it.  
The first time he kissed you was the only time you could say you were shocked senseless.  
You were sitting under a willow tree, johh watching the clouds pass by at you leant against his shoulder and drew.  
He bit his lip and you glanced up at him curiously. You swear you heard him whisper 'fuck it' just before he grabbed your face and kissed you.  
He puleed away when you didn't kiss back and studied your face. It was-as per usual- void of emotion. Which caused him to get up and run, leaving you confused and still frozen.  
After that, you tried calling him a couple times, but you gave up after the third time he ignored the call.  
You slowly felt the ice start to patch back over on your heart as you lay there, convinced this was somehow your fault, it usually always was.  
But, as you later came to realize, there was one thing john Egbert did not do, and that was give up on you. He called four days later with an apology and an offer of dinner and a movie.  
Thinking back on it, you realize you might never have grown out of your constant fears if it weren't for John, and you kiss his cheek fondly as your children run around in the yard, screaming and laughing.  
Liberosis. That was something you no longer had to know.


End file.
